


Worth Ten of You

by Kizmet



Series: Chasing Ideal [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Dysfunctional Team Dynamics, Gen, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 06:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13805229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizmet/pseuds/Kizmet
Summary: When the Avengers came together against the Chitauri their foundation was rooted in desperate need and a common enemy.When the Avengers came together after the Fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. their foundation was rooted in lies and secrecy.





	1. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note:**

> It had been a long time since I’d seen CA:WS but not so long since I saw AoU… And wow, the WSC, whatever version of corrupt/stupid that they were, weren’t HYDRA because that’s why Pierce kills them all isn’t it? I’d forgotten that. ...for some reason AoU left me with the impression that NONE of the Avengers knew that Fury faked his death. Maybe it was Steve’s outraged “Sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things” in conjunction with Tony definitely being out of the loop on Fury being alive? But no Steve, Natasha and Sam at minimum knew Fury faked his death and, at minimum, they kept this information from Tony. Not quite as devastating a secret as Steve knowing that Tony’s parents had been murdered and withholding that information, but yet another secret that Captain Hypocrite was keeping while he was berating Tony for keeping secrets.
> 
> So anyway, I ended up rewatching CAWS to refresh my memory, then I had to go back and rewrite Fury’s part and I’m still not really happy with it because, while he was reluctant to agree to Steve’s stupid burn everything plan, he did agree… CAWS hard to look at anyone connected to it as competent. 
> 
> Then there’s compare and contrast between Steve’s fight with Bucky and his fight with Tony. There obvious, verbal regret at the necessity of fighting Bucky as opposed to the stone-faced non-reaction and lies in response to watching Tony’s parents be murdered. Badly injured and at a disadvantage Steve takes the time to free Bucky where he walks away and leaves Tony after disabling his ability to escape. He tells Bucky that he won’t fight him, disarms himself and “You’re my friend.” He tells Tony “I can do this all day, disarms Tony and tells him that “He’s (Bucky’s) my friend.” So yeah, Steve considers Bucky his friend and Tony’s chopped liver.

When Happy gets caught in the Mandarin’s attack Tony doesn’t think to call anyone. He can’t think beyond wanting the man who hurt one of his friends. It’s not his remit, the world’s decided it’s okay with Tony cleaning up the disaster that is SI missiles in the hands of terrorists but whatever the Mandarin is using in his campaign of terror it’s not SI tech. Iron Man is not JCTC, he can’t just go after random terrorists without stepping on toes. Not even if they hurt one of _his_ friends, maybe especially not then… But if the terrorists go after him first? Well that’s a different matter. 

Later, with Extremis running through Pepper’s veins. Tony calls Bruce, he calls Dr. Helen Cho. He’s a genius but he’s not a biologist, he’s not a doctor. He’s an engineer, ‘don’t reinvent the wheel’ is ground into his psyche. 

He has J.A.R.V.I.S. check a few things and offers Dr. Cho funding for her artificial tissue research. Her grant was about to run out and the latest outbreak of the Bird Flu was diverting funding for medical research in that direction. As expected she has no problem agreeing to look into a fascinating problem for him. Her background really makes her a perfect fit for the project to deactivate Extremis and her work is deserves better than to be overlooked because it’s not en vogue this season. The funding isn’t a bribe per se, just a reminder of the benefits of being his friend. 

Tony is a little worried when he dials Bruce’s number. He hit it off with his fellow scientist during the whole Chitauri mess, witness the save by Bruce-y Bear’s angry green alter ego, but he’s already offered Bruce a lab and been turned down.

“Tony, thank goodness you’re okay!” Bruce exclaims before Tony could even try to make his pitch. “The news has been saying that you were dead! I’m already at the airport waiting on a plane to Miami. The other guy’s listening when I tell him that’s the fastest way back for once.”

“Give me a second and I’ll reroute your ticket to New York,” Tony said typing with one hand while he spoke. “Actually, there’s a charter plane waiting for you at gate F46, or there will be as soon as they’ve fueled up. There’s not really anything left for the green guy to smash but I could use Dr. Bruce Banner’s help with the aftermath.” 

Hanging up Tony thinks, _‘This must be what having a team is like.’_ Rhodey spent decades trying to convince Tony that friends were not people who let you hang around with them as long as you were giving them stuff but Tony’s still a little unclear on what friends actually are besides Pepper, Rhodey and Happy… 

Not that Tony doesn’t pay Pepper and Happy’s salaries, not that he hasn’t replaced the benefit to Rhodey’s military career that being close friends with the US’ premier defense contractor used to be with War Machine- Not Iron Patriot, never Iron Patriot. Tony thinks that maybe the difference is that he’d gladly pay Pepper to run his company even if she didn’t want him around after hours, she’s damned good at her job. Happy saved his life before Tony offered him a paycheck. And Rhodey might have been mad about the whole not making weapons thing and furious about the drunk/live ammo incident but he’d taken Tony’s call after Gulmira and he’d tried to minimize the damage during the Senate hearings while still being true to himself. From them Tony has concluded that friends are people who don’t cut you off when you stop being advantageous to know and who might hang around even if it you stopped giving them stuff- Not that Tony plans to test the later, he likes giving his friends things. 

However, Tony’s not sure what’s okay to ask from friends, beyond asking that they put up with your presence, which is not small request when you’re Tony Stark. Still the interlude with Harley proved to Tony that he needs help from someone. Preferably someone not in grade school, with his little, possibly- Well, almost certainly PTSD issue. But Bruce was already on the way to help even before Tony called him, maybe asking teammates for help, even with personal problems, is a done thing.

After Bruce falls asleep Tony adjusts his definition to ‘It’s okay to ask teammates for help with Avengers stuff.’ Maybe once they know each other better it’ll be okay to ask for a friendly ear. For now he’ll pay someone to listen to his problems. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money.

* * *

The cross-country bike trip was great in Steve’s opinion. Getting out and seeing the country helped him feel more connected to this new century but it wasn’t long before he found himself looking up S.H.I.E.L.D. He wasn’t cut out to be a perpetual tourist. 

He needed to be contributing and SHIELD seemed to be the only place that really saw the value in his ‘old fashion values’. There’d been a few minor incidents that he’d stumbled across during his travels and the local law-enforcement hadn’t been particularly welcoming of his assistance. _‘If I hear the word ‘jurisdiction’ one more time,’_ Steve thought. _‘There’s more I could be doing to help than sitting around idly until another alien invasion. An invasion that might never come.’_

So Steve headed back to the East Coast. Fury was happy to have his assistance. The missions weren’t anything huge but it keeps him busy and either Natasha or Clint were always included on his team. It was nice to see a familiar face and the missions, mostly cleaning up Fury’s mistakes really, built camaraderie. It helped with the feeling of being adrift that had consumed him pretty much from the moment he realized that the surviving Howlies were nonagenarians. It did, until Steve learns that Natasha was getting her own orders, being given priorities that didn’t mesh with his. _‘It’s probably the same for Clint.’_

Steve barely has a moment to digest that before Fury was showing him SHIELD’s shiney new death ships, for preemptively dispensing justice. And then Fury was bleeding out in his living room. Fury was dead leaving him with “Trust no one.” 

Only Steve can’t, he can’t live like that. Grabbing Natasha, shoving her into the wall? He doesn’t feel precisely guilty about it. He knows what she is, what’s she’s capable of. His mother raised him better but Peggy wouldn’t disapprove. He remembers commiserating with Peggy about being dismissed and overlooked. Peggy, and Natasha, might take advantage of being underestimated but it didn’t mean they liked it. Steve still doesn’t feel right looming over her, turning his size and his enhanced strength into a threat against a woman who’d been his teammate. He has to trust someone and there’s something, he has a good feeling about Natasha. 

And then there’s Zola, HYDRA growing inside S.H.I.E.L.D., the implication that what happened to Fury, the Winter Soldier, has happened before… To Howard Stark. He and Natasha aren’t enough. He has to trust someone else. Sam Wilson’s a soldier, he does good work, helping other soldiers come home. Sam’s apart from the madness that has become Steve’s life ever since he woke up in this century. He had a good feeling about Sam too. 

But he hadn’t had a _bad_ feeling about Brock Rumlow.

* * *

“Have they got Stark?” Fury demands. 

Maria Hill taps her earpiece, turning the volume of Fury’s snarl down. Then she glances over her shoulder. In the back of the van Wilson and Rogers were binding Romanov’s shoulder. Using the subvocal mic hidden by the high neck of her uniform she replies. “Captain Rogers and Agent Romanov didn’t call Stark. They brought in Sam Wilson, a retired PJ, the 58th Rescue Squadron. He took an interest in mental health after he got out, dealt with his Post-Traumatic Stress then got himself in a position to help other returning Vets, quite admirable.”

“I go to the trouble of priming one of the greatest technological minds of our generation to put himself at Rogers’ command, tell Rogers that Stark had a hand in building the engines on those Helicarriers… And Rogers goes to a counselor for help in grounding them?” Fury snaps. 

Hill sighs, “I can only tell you what happened.”

“Practically on my deathbed-”

“Technically you’re supposed to be in the morgue,” Hill interrupts.

“And still no rest. What’s your ETA?”

“Given Romanov’s injury, I’d say three hours to appear omniscient, sir.”

Fury ends the communication without signing off and calls a new number, “Barton!” he barks.

“Are the rumors of your death exaggerated or did the devil kick you out before you could take over?” Clint asks. 

“I don’t have time for your shit. I need Stark and the his backdoor on the helicarriers and I need them yesterday.”

“How soon yesterday?” 

“You’ve got two and half hours to have him and my solution at the coordinates provided.” 

“Maybe not so exaggerated, you look like death warmed over- Sir,” An apologetic looking Clint Barton says one hundred and sixty minutes later.

“Where’s Stark?”

“Looking about as healthy as you,” Clint sighs. “But he doesn’t have a nightlight in his chest as of um… twelve hours ago. I’ll have you know that I got myself in Potts’ bad books for you, showing up while Stark’s convalescing.” He produces a box with three computer cards in it, “But I didn’t come empty handed. Stark says these’ll give you control over the guns, turn them into the most expensive duds in the history of the world. But he designed the engines so they don’t fall out of the sky again, he says he’ll bring them back down in a couple weeks when it won’t kill him to get out of bed… And I don’t mean Potts’ll kill him. The shape his rib cage is in right now, standing up will literally kill him.”

* * *

After it was over except for the shouting Maria’s phone rang, “Hill here,” 

“Where the hell is Rogers?” Fury growled. “The man’s a PR wet dream and he leaves the Russian defector to tell Congress not to worry about them trashing a good chunk of the nation’s capital?” 

“Captain Rogers checked out of the hospital AMA,” Hill reported crisply. “The smart money says he and Wilson are chasing leads on the Winter Soldier, on Sgt. Barnes.”

“Has anyone got Stark onboard yet?” Fury huffed.

“No sir.”

“Call Stark. Coulson’s on track to taking S.H.I.E.L.D. underground. He’ll rebuild the right way: no WSC playing armchair quarterback with nuclear warheads and no fucking HYDRA. But we can’t all go underground, the Avengers were never intended to function without support staff. And there’s Talbot, he and the rest of his ilk won’t stop unless they net something.”

“I always knew Coulson was your favorite sir,” Hill said deadpan.

“If I remember correctly, you sided with Rogers and his burn everything plan, I only went along because I was outvoted. As far as I’m concerned you nominated yourself as Congress’s new chew-toy,” Fury said without an ounce of sympathy. “But with Stark and Stark’s lawyers behind you they’ll spit you out in one piece.”


	2. Building the Team

What happened to Fury, the Winter Soldier, had happened before, to Howard. It hadn’t meant much when Zola showed Steve the information, just that when he caught up to the Winter Soldier he’d be avenging the murder of two allies rather than just one. 

When the mask came off, when he saw Bucky, his Bucky beneath the Winter Soldier’s mask it ceased to mean anything at all. Bucky wasn’t an assassin, a murderer, he was a victim.

As soon as Steve felt confident that he could make it down the hospital’s front steps without falling on his face he checked himself out. Bucky’s trail was getting colder every second.

* * *

“You’re sure this is okay?” Steve asked feeling a little guilty as Sam joined him to follow up on another Bucky-lead. “I don’t want to steal you from your guys at the VA.”

Sam looked uncomfortable, “I was asked not to come back. Natasha had Stark’s lawyers pull some sort of stunt where they asserted that I didn’t steal the wings because, as a prototype they still belonged to Stark. Breaking into the base they explained away as a miscommunication; retroactively I’m SI’s new test pilot for the wings who got a little overly creative when he showed up for work and didn’t have the right security badge.”

“But you’re okay?” Steve asked. “You don’t need me to clarify that you were helping me stop HYDRA?”

Natasha waved Steve’s worry off, “It’s taken care of. Stark paid a fine on his ‘employee’s’ behalf, really just a bribe to settle some ruffled feathers, and everything’s good.”

Sam snorted, “Of course I’m out a job. My employer had a clause about not working a second job and the VA wasn’t happy about the break in even if the charges amounted to a slap on the wrist. So no more volunteering at the center.”

Steve frowned, looking ready to go out and bust some heads.

“It won’t help,” Natasha advised. “They had to save face.” She patted Sam on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about the job, Tony’s not about to fire you. It would blow his little fiction out of the water, it’s his neck on the line now. Besides, you said it yourself Captain America needs your help, no better reason to get back in. 

“We still need your help Sam.”

* * *

“We got a problem Boss,” Happy declared slapping a slim file on the counter beside Tony.

Tony opened it and groaned, “Happy, I told you: You worry about SI, Hill will take care of ex-S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“With due respect Boss, S.H.I.E.L.D. was lousy with HYDRA, I’m not trusting them to sort out the bad apples now. I’m doing all the background checks on them personally. And this guy, he sneaks in with S.H.I.E.L.D. but he ain’t S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Nat vouched for him,” Tony said. 

Happy wrinkled his nose, “Ms. Corporate Espionage, the one who wrote that B.S. report on you? She’s easy on the eyes and damn scary to see in action but she isn’t what I’d call a good judge of character. And this guy’s too clean, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh look, what’s this? A traffic ticket? No, three traffic tickets, all paid,” Tony snarked.

“Could be planted to add verisimilitude,” Happy insisted.

“He made a good impression on the Capsicle. He’s doing some sort of Avengers’ work with Cap and Nat. He’s in, end of story,” Tony stated. “Besides, I hear he led a PTSD group for the VA. Maybe I’ll see if he can recommend a good shrink. The last two… I could see them thinking about the title of their tell-all book during the incoming interview.”

“Boss, Pepper and I both vetted them,” Happy protested.

“And no offense to either of you but you’ve never had a one-night stand sell her story to Daytime Talk the next morning,” Tony replied. “I’ve developed a sense about these things since then.”

“Right, it’s called paranoia,” Happy disagreed. “You agreed, you need to talk to someone.” 

“Someone I trust.”

* * *

The Bucky-missions gradually expanded in scope to become a general hunt for HYDRA. If Steve couldn’t have Bucky safe at his side at least he could make sure HYDRA had too many problems of their own to even think about trying to recover their ‘asset’.

On Natasha’s recommendation they pulled Clint Barton in as the missions got bigger. They planned their missions and reviewed the data they collected in Sam’s kitchen over take-out. Steve discovered that he loved pizza, although it was better when Nat didn’t manage to sneak pineapple on it, and Chinese from that one place that Sam complained was completely inauthentic. After missions there were team dinners in little hole in the wall places that Nat and Clint knew about all over the world. Sometimes Steve suspected that the two of them were making an effort to find the most bizarre, non-food like food to see if there was anything that he wouldn’t eat. They were bound for disappointment, between growing up to in the Great Depression and WWII army rations supplemented with whatever the Howlies could scavenge from the countryside Steve knew he’d eat pretty much anything not actually poisonous and appreciate the calories, if not the taste.

They weren’t the Howling Commandos, Bucky was still too confused to come home where he belonged, Peggy’s mind was steadily slipping away but it seemed impolite, unappreciative to tell his current team how much he missed his old team. They weren’t his first choice but they were important to him. With them he almost felt like he could make a home for himself in this new century… If he could just have Bucky back.

* * *

“We should bring Stark in,” Natasha remarked. She tilted her head towards Steve “I can understand why you don’t want him digging into the Winter Soldier, but-” 

Clint and Sam looked confused. Steve wanted to snap at her that Bucky hadn’t done anything wrong but even saying that much was too much.

“But we need more than resources. We don’t know who to beat the answers out of anymore and we’ve already followed up on every hint I’ve been able to tease past their encryption. We need a codebreaker and Tony Stark is one of the best.”

“I barely know the man and we certainly didn’t get off on the right foot,” Steve protested. “I don’t want to go asking for favors.”

Clint shook his head. “He’d love you to ask. I know I missed out on the drama you two had going on the Helicarrier, what with being stuck as Loki’s flying monkey, but the man is dying to do stuff for the team. He’s taken over paying our salaries from S.H.I.E.L.D., he’s upgraded every piece of our equipment that he can get his hands on, and what with being the sole backer for the new not-S.H.I.E.L.D. that’s everything. We’ve each got luxury suites in that Tower of his; he never repaired the sign you know, it’s still ‘A’ for Avengers Tower not Stark Tower anymore. If we were in a High School movie, he’d totally be doing our homework for us… So, you go Nat.” Then Clint hesitated, “But, um, if he’s going to be our kept nerd, well we don’t want to be the evil version of the other half of the trope.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” Steve said frankly. 

“He means let Stark in, don’t just use him as a resource,” Natasha explained. “This isn’t just about the Winter Soldier anymore. I told Thor about Loki’s scepter being stolen by HYDRA. Given the way his brother died the last thing he wants is a legacy of more evil further tarnishing Loki’s memory. Tony’s already funding us, Bruce is at SI wasting his abilities in a lab, Thor is onboard whether or not you want him. It’s time to get the band back together.”

Steve turned to Sam, “Could you stick with searching for Bucky? I don’t want him getting lost in the bigger picture.”

When Tony didn’t come running at the invitation, citing the need to rebuild his armor which was a cop-out if Clint ever heard one, the archer regretted going to bat for him. It didn’t stop them from having some good times as teammates and housemates but it stayed in the back of Clint’s mind that Tony wasn’t someone to take risks for. Without really thinking it through Clint categorized Tony’s reaction as him being less committed to the team than the rest of them, except maybe Banner who was always resistant toward going into the field.

* * *

Covert went out the window when Thor joined the team but with his strength added to Steve’s ‘hit ‘em fast and hit ‘em hard’ was pretty much all the plan they needed.

Thor was loud and larger than life and impossible to dislike… Once he and Clint came to an agreement where neither of them talked about Loki in front of the other anyway. That Thor had reached a similar denete with Erik Selvig already helped. 

Steve found he didn’t really mind listening to Thor’s stories about his childhood adventures with his brother and in return Thor listened to Steve’s stories about Bucky. “Your Sgt. Barnes sounds like a most excellent brother,” Thor declared. “Would that I had been as attentive to Loki.”

_‘Bucky’s situation wasn’t really like Loki’s,’_ Steve thought to himself. _‘There was wrong with Loki from the start. But Thor gets it, no matter how far gone Bucky might seem, I can’t give up on him._

_‘Although, for Clint’s sake, it’s a relief that Loki’s dead.’_

* * *

Thor plunked himself down in Tony’s lab. “Once again we have failed in our quest to recover Loki’s scepter,” he declared with a grievous sigh.

“Point Break,” Tony greeted the Asgardian cautiously. “You here to drown your sorrows?”

“None of you knew Loki,” Thor rambled. 

Tony took that as a yes and poured Thor a tumbler of whiskey. 

“Perhaps there was a slow growing malady in my brother that I overlooked but he was my loyal companion for centuries,” Thor continued as he knocked back the whiskey like it was water. “Even as the madness fully took hold of him, his betrayal of me was driven by concern for Asgard. I thought him consumed by insanity when Loki led the Chitauri against your race to lash out at me but I was wrong, he died to avenge our mother… and to save my life.”

Tony made appropriately sympathetic noises. _‘Maybe Reindeer Games wasn’t as batshit as we all thought. I doubt Thor wants to hear it but I can certainly empathize with what it must have been like growing up as the unfavorite son.’_

“Before I was sent to your realm to subdue him, the All-Father told me of Loki’s adoption. He told me how he had found a Jotun babe and believing that their evil was learned rather than inherent he brought that babe into his home to be raised as his second son. But Father told me he had been mistaken, that Loki’s nature was a festering evil that Asgard could neither civilize nor overcome… And I believed him but I have since come to understand that even the All-Father can be led astray by his emotions. He was angry at Loki, hurt by his suicide, he was not seeing my brother clearly. Loki loved us, he loved his family and he died for us even after I had given up on him.”

“O-kay…” Tony said slowly. ‘So what do you want from me?’ clear in his expression.

“I cannot abide that the scepter he wielded remains in the hands of villains. My brother’s action against Midgard were an aberration which I must set right to honor the memory of who he truly was.”

_‘So now it’s Thor’s turn to tell me I’m not doing enough. Wonder when they’ll work their way up to Capcicle, or does he just think I’m worthless? Beyond the funding, I mean, he’s got no problem accepting that.’_

Tony considered mentioning that he was in therapy, that he was getting a handle on the panic attacks but after he’d attacked Pepper because of a nightmare he didn’t want the kind of power the suit represented until he could say a little more than he was getting a handle on terrors haunting his mind. 

He’d considered asking Cap’s new bubby for a recommendation but Rhodey was sufficiently old-school military to get hives thinking about mental health issues and if Rhodey wasn’t comfortable with it then Captain Steve Rogers of the 104th’s Howling Commandos was definitely of the ‘suck it up and deal’ school of thought. Rogers might think Sam Wilson was admirable for helping others who couldn’t hack it but Tony had no doubt what Rogers would think if he knew about the trouble Tony was having coping with what he’d seen on the other side of the portal. So Tony made sure his masks were impenetrable when he couldn’t avoid Wilson and fed the spy-twins B.S. about needing time to get Iron Man in working trim. He wasn’t about to spoil that just because Thor had the uncanny ability to pull off puppy-dog eyes while being a walking mountain of demi-godly muscles. 

“Without the suit I’m pretty much a squishy human you know,” Tony rambled. “Not like Cap. Or Nat, no Enhancement, at least as far as I know, but scary, maybe more scary for that. I’m working on a new suit. Blew up the old one, ones for New Years. Best fireworks display you ever saw. They were outdated, totally last year’s model. But awesomeness isn’t instantaneous. I’ll be battle ready… um soon.” 

There were a shit load of things his shrink wanted him to deal with but, while he liked this one better than the first dozen Pepper shoved at him, he still didn’t trust the guy with that much of him. As soon as he was confident the panic attacks were a thing of the past, the shrink was yesterday’s news.

* * *

Tony rejoins the Avengers active roster two months later with Bruce in tow and an offering of intel: Three HYDRA bases extrapolated from old S.H.I.E.L.D. data and new satellite images. 

The last month was spent putting the finishing touches on Veronica. Bruce wouldn’t consider going into the field without a fail-safe and Tony doesn’t exactly blame him even if he likes the Hulk and privately, because he’s not a complete idiot about people, thinks that the Hulk is a lot more personable than Bruce-y Bear gives him credit for. _But then I build my favorite people myself, I’m probably not a good judge.’_

* * *

They’re pinned against a twelve inch thick steel hanger door. It was Stark’s job to get it open and every moment he screws around is another chance one of Steve’s few friends could die. 

Thor laughs as he twirls Mjolnir around then throws it. The hammer smashes through a tank like it was a pinata. The Hulk was off somewhere, Steve could track him by the sound of the smashing. Steve tries to cover Clint and Natasha, they were the most vulnerable members not to mention the ones Steve felt closest to and Stark wasn’t even taking it seriously. He’s crooning to the HYDRA bases’ computer, and if Steve hadn’t known better he would have assumed he was over-hearing some swell trying to talk a dame into his bed. 

After the Battle of Manhattan Steve knew there was more substance to Stark than he’d originally credited the man with but Stark still rubbed him the wrong way. Steve hated the slick conference rooms and holographic projections that had replaced crowding around Sam’s kitchen table to see printouts… Replaced the Howlies crowding around a tiny smokeless fire to squint at crude hand drawn maps. Stark was loud and flashy, a constant, grating reminder of everything Steve disliked about the new century. Howard had been much the same, whether or not Steve wanted to admit it but mentioning Howard to Tony was stepping into a minefield. 

“Just like that sweet thing, you’re being so good for me,” Stark purrs and the hanger doors slide open. Stark clears the way with a pair of missiles then the Avengers charge inside, quickly overwhelming all opposition.

* * *

Tony ventures down from his penthouse apartment to the Avengers common floor. He was coming off a three day engineering binge followed by sixteen hours of exhausted sleep and then a much needed shower and now he was in the mood to be sociable.

The floor is dark and empty. “Where is everyone J?”

“Master Thor is visiting the lovely Dr. Foster,” JARVIS reports. “The others have gone out for the evening.”

“I’ll go hang out in Brucey-bear’s lab I suppose. He had some time trials he was going to work on. It's still Thursday, right?”

“Ms. Romanoff persuaded the others to work their schedule around Dr. Banner’s experiments so he would be able to join them. Presented with that logic he felt compelled to go along with their plans.”

“Oh.” Tony’s voice is small.

* * *

“Stark get your ass back in the armor,” Clint says.

Steve grimaces and gives up his position to go yell at Stark, experience tells him not to expect the team’s backer and civilian consultant to follow orders without an argument.

“Cap always gets testy when I take too long and the armor cuts my typing speed in half.”

_‘It’s just like Stark to blame others for his recklessness,’_ Steve thinks. He finds Stark bent over a computer console. “I had to leave Natasha without backup because of you.”

“Who asked you to?” Stark jerks a thumb at his empty armor standing nearby, “I’ve got all the backup I need.”

“You don’t have the first clue as to how to be a team player do you?” Steve accuses.

* * *

“So are we going to Stark’s New Years party?” Natasha askes. She glances from Steve to Clint and then Sam, the original post-Fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. team.

“If it’s half as wild as his birthday parties…” Clint says, grinning. Natasha elbows him.

Steve frowns. 

“You saw the footage,” Natasha reminds him.

“Yeah, I’m out,” Sam says. He shakes his head, “If you think drunk driving endangers lives, you don’t want to think about a drunk with a gun in his hands let alone the sort of firepower Iron Man represents.”

“Right,” Clint pastes on virtuous expression. “But one of us should be on hand as, you know, a chaperone. I volunteer.”

“And I’ll go to keep this dummy out of trouble,” Natasha sounds much more convincing as a responsible adult. 

“Do you need me there to keep him in line?” Steve asks. 

Natasha gives him a cool look. 

“Right, what was I thinking? In that case, it doesn’t sound like my sort of thing.”

* * *

_‘It would be a relief if Stark died, for Bucky’s sake.’_

Steve takes off the moment the mission ends. He didn’t want to debrief or talk to anyone. 

Luckily they’d been in New York and he’s able to get back to the tower on his own. He heads straight for the gym and lites into one of Tony’s reinforced punching bags until his knuckles are split and bloody. But it wasn’t enough, he could still remember thinking the disgusting thought. 

The mission had been more annoying than difficult: a plague of giant, car-sized, roaches. Stark had made a crack about them reminding him of the Chitauri, which had led to Clint making a crack about Loki. By that point Clint and Stark were the only ones not dripping with bug guts and Steve didn’t blame Thor for taking it badly, they were all in a rotten mood. Then Stark tried to play peace-maker, which went over about as well as could be expected when the guy who could barely string two sentences together without offending someone tried to mediate a dispute. On top of everything else, while Stark was making things worse between Clint and Thor, Stark missed seeing one of the roaches getting ready to ambush him. And in the split second before he threw the shield and decapitated the bug in mid-leap, Steve had thought, _‘It would be a relief if Stark died, for Bucky’s sake.’_

Nat slips into the gym and leans against the wall. She doesn’t say anything, just crosses her arms over her chest and stares at Steve. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Not even to clue me in as to what ‘it’ is?” Nat asks.

Steve grunts as a sloppy punch breaks one of his fingers. It doesn’t feel like enough, punishment yes, but it didn’t satisfy, it didn’t cleanse.

“Everyone’s feeling a little out of sorts but you weren’t involved in any of the spats. And yet you’re the one trying to kill the punching bag.”

Steve brushes past her without a word. He leaves the Tower and starts running, no destination just running. He runs for miles, runs until his breath comes in ragged gasps and he can’t think about anything but the next step. He runs until he couldn’t anymore and loving the blessed blankness of his mind that results. 

Leaning on his thighs, dripping sweat, so starved for breath that it reminds him of his long cured asthma attacks, Steve stops in a lightly wooded park. After a few moments he straightens and looks around then checks his pocket. His hand closes on his communicator _‘At least I can still call J.A.R.V.I.S. and ask for directions back. I don’t have a clue where I’m at.’_

Steve gets his directions, J.A.R.V.I.S. offers to send a car for him and they agree on a rendezvous point as Steve didn’t want to remain stationary while he waited for the car to arrive. As he starts walking back Steve thinks, _‘The next time Stark throws a party I should accept, or maybe try harder to include him when the team gets together socially. It doesn’t matter that I don’t like the man, I have to establish a more enduring rapport with him. Stark’s a loose cannon but he’s still an asset to the team.’_ When they synced up in battle it was amazing.

Steve thinks about the ongoing friction between Clint and Thor on the subject of Loki. _‘For everyone’s sake it would be better if Tony never knew… It’s probably not true anyway.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story started out as me mulling over why the idea of Steve not really looking at Tony as a friend bothers me (when he does think of other members of the team as friends).


End file.
